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  I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

  Embarrassing Stories
  On my way up the sidewalk to a girl's house, I was taking out for the first time, I felt my stomach cramping.

I knew that it was imminent that I would have to take a dump very soon. I rang the doorbell, said hello, went through the introductions with her parents and so-forth. I resisted as long as I could, but knew I had to go before leaving with their daughter on the date.

I asked to use the restroom, and was directed down the hall. I went in and took a dump. No problem right? Well, when I flushed - you guessed it - the toilet began overflowing faster than I could find a solution.

With water and lots of crap flowing out of the toilet, all over the bathroom floor, and heading towards the door, I ran from the bathroom. I sped to the living room where Dad, Mom, and my date were waiting.

I was in obvious panic yelling "the toilet's overflowing, what do I do?" At that point the father rushed to the bathroom, with Mom, date, and me following. Her Dad ran into the bathroom, and slipped of his feet onto the floor covered with water and quite a bit of my crap.

When he got up, he had a log stuck to his back. Believe it or not, I still took their daughter out that night (without sticking around to help clean) and we ended up dating for six years.
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